The Diary of Invader Rene
by Meepeh
Summary: You can read it if you wish, but I'm not editing.  This story isn't too great, and I don't feel like working on it any more.
1. The Assignment

**A/N I have officially remade Rene's first entry and how it went. Sorry, but I hadn't seen the show in 2 or 3 years. So, I decided to visit and got my information correct. I hope you like the new story better .**

The Diary of Invader Rene

The Diary that Meepeh has cherished for years

This Diary has been recovered from the future of 5069 in which Invader Rene had dropped it while traveling through time. All places and times were smudged by time, so I may have to make chapters this time.

January 1, 5061

Saturday

Today is the day. We are being assigned to planets to conquer. I hope to follow in the steps of my role model, Invader Zim to conquer Earth. He hasn't conquered it yet, but it would be an honor to meet him, as he is still alive and trying.  If I'm extremely lucky, he might even teach me his tips and tricks! I really hope Gir likes Kira, my new robot. She has a short attention span. (Kira is running around chasing Rene's kitteh kat.) Did I tell you I got a new Tabby cat from Gram Gram on Earth? I named her Jen Jen. She's so cute but everyone else is afraid of her. So much for brave Space Invaders. Well, they're calling us down for assignment. Wish me luck!

Rene

The overly excited Irken girl hopped off of her chair and grabbed Kira and Jen Jen. "Come on! We have to make it to the center!" She pushed open the door using Kira's head. "Ow! Master, why are you making my head go 'BOOM!'? Oh, lookie atta squirrel! Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel! Me wantsa squirrel!" Kira stretched out her robotic hands and slipped out of Rene's arms, lunging forward so much, she breaks the window glass, falling into pitch black nothingness called space. "That's the third time Mr. Nutty made Kira jump!" Rene said, running to get her special ship that looked like a Meepit. Jen Jen sat comfortably in the back seat which had a special cushion just for Rene's pets.

"Now I won't make it to the assignment center in time so I probably won't get a planet at all!" Rene stepped on the gas pedal so hard that the ship lunged forward so fast that it caught Dir as she was falling. "Wow. You have a good falling-catchy-baseball-thingy O.o." Kira squeaked.

"That takes care of that." Rene gladly said, backing up into the Space Garage. She hurriedly ran up the steps to the Assignment Center and ran on the stage where others were lined up.

"Reporting for assignment, your honors Tallest Red and Tallest Purple." Rene said, moving her antenna to show respect.

"Ummm….Rene, you're rea-"

"What is my planet to conquer?" Rene said, saluting.

"Rene….You're not…getting a pl-" Tallest Red started.

Quietly, Tallest Purple whispered into Tallest Red's antenna. "Hey, remember Zim? Maybe, since he hasn't come back, we can send the (sarcasm) wonderful, Zim crazed, invader there, to the human-stink-bug planet?"

Tallest Red quickly restated what he had said to Rene. "Well, you don't get a normal planet. In fact, you get the specialist planet out there."

"Invader Rene, you are assigned to Ea-" Tallest Purple was cut off by Rene's screaming with glee.

"YES! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! WOOHOO! GO ME GO M-" Rene shouted, and then was bounced off the stage into space.

"Doo doo doo, shmoopedie shmoop, da da doo doo da da do do…" Kira was singing, soundly like a doodle drawing with sound. Not knowing it, Kira had activated the Meepit Ship's engine, and was now speeding around Irk, full speed. Then a big blob of green and red and pink appeared.

"Kira! Let me in!" Rene squeaked in pain.

"Ummm….doodly, doo, doodly, do…." Kira pushed a big blue button and the glass shield opened. She slowly scooted over so that Rene could drive the ship.

"Hey did you hear? I was assigned to Earth! Zim is on Earth and so is all this neat things like Zim, and Zim's house, and Zim, and…." Rene went on and on while driving the space cruiser.

_Beautiful. I can listen to Rene babble all about the awesome and almighty Invader Zim. Pssh pash. Talking about my fur is more interesting than talking about an intergalactic idiot that was the cause of Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork's deaths, _Jen Jen thought to herself. She slowly watched Kira turn the radio nob on and switch it to IRKT, the only station where you could find music from anywhere, including Earth. _Gah, that robot's so stupid. So is Zim, and Dib, and Earth. Grr… Can't I just have peace and quiet so I can sleep? Jeez…it's bad enough we're going to Earth. Oh well. I suppose kiddo's been waiting a while to see Gram Gram again and she's really looking forward to seeing Zim. Maybe it's possible for me to sleep anyway. _Jen Jen stretched herself out a little.

"Well, it's gonna be a long like trip, so I suggest you get some shut eye. First thing I'm gonna do is find shelter. Then make my disguise and then, we're going on a first class tour of Earth!" Rene squeaked.

"Will there be squirrels?" Kira asked.

_Oh, brother. _

**A/N I hope this version was better. If you like the first one better, than I'll change it back. I think that you can figure out what the italics, bolds, and underlines can and will mean. **


	2. The Deal

**A/N- Well, atleast I got this one done pretty fast. Hope you like it :).**

The Arrival

The ship came to a halt in a shaded park area filled with trees. "Look, we're here." Rene whispered quietly, signaling Kira and Jen Jen to stay in the ship. "I'm gonna go and find shelter. Kira, Jen Jen, I expect you to guard the ship." The Irken said, already walking away.

"Yes master!" Kira said, almost shouting.

Jen's eyes grew big as her ears and fur spiked up, followed by a hiss toward the metal idiot. _She's so loud! Gah! Rene! TAKE ME WITH YOU! _Jen Jen meowed out.

"SHHHH! Bad kitty!" Rene said, putting a finger up to her mouth. She slowly walked away as Jen Jen curled up on the roof of the ship and Kira played with the ship. "Phew…atleast they can be quiet." Rene said as she walked through the narrow and filthy alleyways. "Ugh…it stinks here. I thought humans were naturally disgusting but this…..eek!" Rene complained. Finally, she found an abandoned ware house. "Perfect." She smiled and ran back to the ship.

_Grrr…let go of me you idiot human scum! _Jen Jen meowed and bit and hissed at the people all around her. _It's all thanks to that stupid robot, Kira! She has a much too loud voice! _

"Whadda shmoop?" Rene yelled at the crowd of humans crowded around her ship.

"Look! An alien!" A photographer yelled and everyone snapped photos of Rene.

"Gah! Idiot humans! The lights! I'm melting…melting……"

Jen Jen hopped into the ship's backseat. _Your not melting….You're just being stupid. _The cat stretched out and rolled her eyes. Her paw hit the ultra-meepity-disquise-machine-of-ultra-meepity-disguises and turned into a purple and skinny cat. "MEOW!" she hissed at the shock. _Hey, this isn't too bad. _She extracted her claws, which were pointy sharp and retracted them. _Pointy teeth, sharp claws and…. _Small purple wings popped out of her body. _Nice._

"My turn! My turn!" Kira shouted and reached for the disguiser as Rene hopped into the ship, flying away. Kira poked a button and turned into a……

"SQUIRREL!" Kira squeaked. "I'M A SQUIRRELY SQUIRREL!" She started to play with her floofeh tail, which included biting it.

"Stupid imbecile! Don't bite yourself!" Jen scolded the squirrelly robot.

"O.o Did the kitteh just talk?"

"No." Jen Jen told Kira.

"Oh. Okay!"

The ship landed wreck fully on the landing center in the warehouse.

"MEOW!" Jen Jen squeaked.

"MY SQUEEDLY SPOOCH!" Rene called out, holding her stomach.

"That was fun." Kira hopped up and down.

"Never mind, just give me the Meepit Disguiser." Rene said, holding out her arm.

"There ya go!" Her SIR unit said, throwing it at her.

"Grrr…reckless SIR unit." Rene quickly made her adjustments to look like the jelly bags she had seen on the street. In seconds, her green skin was apricot colored, her antennas were replaced by ears, she had short brown hair, which in the front bent forward and it's tips were sharp enough to penetrate your skin. Her red eyes were now white, blue, and black, her pinkish dress was transformed into a black shirt and jeans, and her pak was a skoolbag that went over one shoulder.

"Alright. How do I look?" Rene asked.

"Scary. (Kira shivers)"

"Great if you want to join the circus."

"Grrr… Well, you don't see anyone much better." Rene quickly set up her super secret home-in-a-bottle to make her secret lab and everything if she just pulled the cork. So that's exactly what she did. In seconds, the top floor was filled with your everyday human items, and on the bottom floors, her secret lab was all set up.

Quickly, Kira ran over to the couch and bit it. "Tasty."

"Ugh…stupid metal….you DO NOT eat furniture." Jen yelled.

"You don't?" Rene said, tasting her kitchen countertop.

"I give up…" Jen quickly ran up the stairs to her room.

"Hmmm….Kira, we shall look for Zim. Come here!"

"Okie." Kira hopped to her master with a smile on her bell-like head.

Quickly, Rene changed Kira back to a robot. "There." Rene got a leash and put it around Kira's neck. "Now, come, girl!" Kira got on 4 feet and walked with Rene to a circle-like neighborhood which had a very purple house in it. "See that purple thing? That's the mighty Zim's domain!"

Rene walked into the path of gnomes, and then a green-like thing came out. An Irken of Irk.

"Who are you? What are you doing here pathetic jelly bag? Dib hired you, didn't he? DIDN'T HE?" Zim flipped out, staring at the human version of his alliance member.

Rene used her Meepit Disguiser Machine (or MDM) to transform into her true form. "I know who you are Zim….." Rene said, somewhat spookily.

" Yeah! You only talk about him for 3 hours a day!" Kira yelled.

"GAH! ANOTHER IRKEN! NO! MY PLANET! GNOMES! GET HER!"

The gnomes slowly waddled to banish Rene from Zim's sight until Rene jumped away.

"No, Zim. I can help you. We can be partners. Besides, Gir will be too busy playing with Kira, so he won't bother you. Deal?" Rene handed out her hand.

Zim thought this over a lot. "Hmmmm……Fine. Deal." Zim said, shaking Rene's hand.


End file.
